i feel that the primary thing i learned about myself from watching "How to Worship a Goddess" is that i have very much to learn. It is difficult for myself, a male who has lived alone for so long, to accept the realization that i desire control over my life by another person. It is hard for me to know that i have placed myself on the first trail of a journey which will lead to the abandonment of the lifestyle that i have known, so well, for so long. Therefore i find myself very grateful for the training videos which Goddess Lorena has supplied me with. i know that i have a long way to go before i am shaped into the form that Goddess Lorena desires. Often times in fantasy thoughts i feel that i will be able to do anything in my urge to submit. This training video has shown me that i have a lot to learn and i must find out how to dismiss selfish thoughts from my head. i have to learn to think more like a slave than think as the man i have been.
At one point in the video, Goddess Lorena says "Remember, it is not fifty/fifty anymore." This sentence is with me a lot now. This thought goes directly to why i seek training from Goddess. Because it delves into the psychological part of slavery. The part which i feel is the most important. There still are a lot of physical parts shown in the video, such as being furniture, and a carpet. These are the type of things that all potential slaves learn about at one time or another. But realistically no one goes into an hourly session with a Pro Dom looking for the key to lifetime slavery. The training of Goddess Lorena is so different from a session Dominatrix. Goddess is looking to seriously turn you into a slave. Turn you into someone who has given up your previous life. Someone who has changed his devotions and chosen to be devoted to Her and the way that She determines how your training should proceed. i have to get my head right. i have to learn that from now on i ask permission to do things, and i have to learn to please Her and not myself.
The tug of war inside me is 'am i learning?' i have now learned about myself that i do want to learn. i want to learn well. i want to please Goddess. i crave Her acceptance of my submission to Her. i so desire Her informing me that i am doing a good job. It has become so important to me. But i realize that the learning process stretches far ahead. To change my mindset to total commitment will require more videos and more training. i know that i must strive further. This desire to learn to commit is what i feel i have learned about myself from watching this video.
The parts that scared me the most were when Goddess Lorena would drum into me that i am to learn to dismiss thoughts of myself and think only of giving my life to Her. This comes under the heading of actually getting what you may be wishing for. A lot of men, in lust, will bellow out that they are committed to slavery. This tape shows me that those involved with Goddess Club are true Female Supremacists. There is no acting here. When i realize what i may be getting into a lump comes into my throat. A lump indicative of fear. Fear that i have to make a commitment in my mind. And fear that i may try but fail.
Sometimes i would also feel afraid at the physical parts of the video. Not so much pain from slapping, or being stood upon, but more to the effect that i would not be able to perform under the circumstances. That my failure would be a repudiation of the commitment i would have expressed by the time that i actually meet Goddess, and also a repudiation of the training that i would have been under by that time. A fear that i would not be able to perform my duties, the duties that i was being trained for.
i was quite nervous when Goddess Lorena announced that trainees have to learn to be a table. Many physical parts of submission are difficult for me. i have trouble with intricate procedures such as applying toe-nail polish. i also am not a cook. It makes me nervous to know that i am to be trained to do things that i may have difficulty with. i understand that there will be demonstrations to others of the results of training. i am nervous when i think that i would be on display and i would have to be at my best when shown to others.
i regret to say that i laughed only at the times when the slave was dressed down by his owner. i say that regretfully because i may be in his place one day. For example the poor man was crawling backwards out of camera range and Goddess Lorena called to him to 'check the broach on his loincloth." Under the circumstances i got a chuckle out of that. He is trying his best to serve a Goddess, but at the same time don't let your pants fall down.
i wanted to act humble in the presence of Goddess Lorena at all times in the video. But i think that the most humbling time was at the beginning of the second scene when the Goddess had changed Her clothing to Her PVC suit. That was truly a time to bow down and worship. Her strength in dealing with the slave who was with Her while still delivering the fundamental training aspects to those, such as me, who were watching was awesome. She demonstrated during this time that a slave to Her would have to be used as the whipping post for Her bad day. To know that you are being trained for just such a position is quite humbling.
It still goes to the drumbeat of making the trainees know that they are being trained to serve Her and to make Her life easier. "you are here on this earth to serve Her" is what She says. To a true believer this is very, very humbling. The Woman who says this to you and makes you understand is deserving of your worship. To commit to a training regimen which trains a male to be the recipient of what is punishment for a bad day is very humbling. And i believe that the Goddess who can make you understand this and who can actually train you for this is a Goddess to bow down to and act humble to.
Acting humble is really a prerequisite for training as far as i can see. i wouldn't come to training such as this if i wasn't going to be humble anyway. What i like about my training so far is that Goddess Lorena gives me time to complete my lessons. She acknowledges my job schedule. She seems more interested in finding good potential slaves than in making demands that may not be able to be met. She is a true trainer. When i put this fact into my mind, by doing my training lessons, i am humbled even more. She knows more about submissive males than any Goddess i have ever heard of. The video has made me understand this ever more greatly. The actual understanding of this, by watching the video, and knowing that i am truly being trained makes me think of Her more as a Goddess and makes me want to bow down and act humble even more. It is not just any particular part in the video which makes me feel this way but the whole program. For the first time i feel that i am really being trained. That there is a purpose for what is happening and goals to strive for. The training itself is humbling. The training itself makes me want to bow down to Goddess Lorena and act humble in Her presence. The video is another reinforcement in our minds of what we have come here for.
My favorite scenes were four that come to mind the most.
When Goddess stood upon Her slave.
When Goddess used the slave as a footstool.
When Goddess pulled Her slave by his nipples.
When Goddess first appeared in Her black PVC outfit and Her black high heels.
From experience i know how it feels to have a Woman in high heels stand on a male. The heels are like long nails which are pinning the slave to the floor. Kind of nailing him to the spot. It is an incredible act of Supremacy by the Dom. Not only is the slave worshipping the ground that his Owner walks on, now he actually is the ground She walks upon. The feeling of helplessness stays in your mind for years. This is when you know that you are under the power of a higher authority. You are pinned to the floor and there is not a thing you can do about it until She decides that you may be let up.
Using a human being as a footstool reinforces in his mind that he is an object and that he has suspended his rights as a human person. She is reading or watching TV. You are nothing. Not a sound comes from you. You just stay there with Her feet upon you. Once again you are helpless in your slavery. It is during this quiet time, for the Goddess, that you know that you are being of some use to Her. She is enjoying Herself in a normal activity while you are a piece of furniture there for Her to use.
When Goddess Lorena reached out and grabbed Her slave by his nipples i gave a shudder. To be pulled to the spot where another person wants you to be by a part of your body which reacts painfully is quite humiliating. It is an acknowledgement that you are property and there in the presence of the Goddess to be used as She wishes. For another time this is a reinforcement that you have given up rights to your own decisions. You are not allowed to go where you might wish to go yourself. You are being placed in a position where the person who actually owns you wishes you to be. When the slave grunted i felt his pain and humiliation at knowing he is a piece of property with no rights.
When Goddess changed Her outfit to a black PVC suit and black spiked heels i was awestruck. Her physical appearance is just incredible. Her body was annunciated in the outfit and the heels were devastating. i wanted to be on my knees in worship to Her appearance. To my mind it was a demonstration of raw feminine power.
my thoughts are that the slave acted very obedient to his owner. he seemed to know his duties and what was expected of him. he seemed to have been at an advanced training stage. Perhaps even owned outright. he may have been at the worshipper level. he seemed attuned to receiving physical punishment. i don't think that he once asked for directions or questioned Goddess Lorena in any way.
Only when the slave was pulled by his nipples did i feel sorry for the slave. i never envied him. The truth is that i thought of him as an object. A piece of property being trained for the use of Goddess Lorena. he was being shown to me, a trainee, as an example of what may be expected to me. he was a good side bar to the actual words of the Goddess.
i think that my main description of my Goddess's personality and character from watching this video would be that i feel She is sincere in knowing that Her training serves a purpose. i mean that She appears to be purposeful in what She is trying to accomplish. She appears to be steadfast in showing to the world that She is a true trainer of submissive males. She proclaims Herself, at the end of the tape, to be strict. But i always feel when dealing with Her that She rewards those who try and whom She has determined to be true believers. She seems to want to find trainees that She can work with on a long term basis rather that arguing about some petty point that may have come up.
For the first time ever i believe that i have found a Goddess who knows that, in order to make it work, She has to show to the world that She will do Her part in showing that She really believes in what She is doing. Rather than, like so many others, rely entirely on the so-called 'submission' of the male. This is the most important thing that i have gleaned up to this point. She intends on doing Her part in training me.. The work that She puts into this is amazing. She answers and write dozens of E-mails per day. She manages an incredible website. She pays strict attention to what is written to Her. She is a worker at this every bit as much as any good worker in their own business. A part of Her character is determination to make this work. That is my favorite thing about my training. i know that She is doing Her part, all i have to do now is my part.
Also, from the way She dresses, and the things that She proclaims in this video, She knows full well Her effect on submissive males. She knows their desires, and Her intelligence and strength have led Her to take on the role of Trainer. She honestly will train a submissive man if he in turn is honest with Her. She does expect many common courtesies such as bowing to Her, learning how to correctly open doors for Her, kissing Her hand and Her feet. This part of Her personality shows Her natural need for respect from those whom She trains. i do not believe that She is unnecessarily cruel. i believe that Her training uses physical pain, at times, only as a training tool and it is not gratuitous. Her main goal is to support and promote Female Supremacy, and therefore males have to be taught correctly. The constant reinforcement of Her ideals shows Her determination. If i were to choose one word to show to others how i feel about Her character and personality it would be that word, determination.
She expects you to be faithful, don't argue, learn your place. The male is too insensitive and therefore must be trained to become more sensitive. Sincerity and determination is what She puts into Her training. She even expects you to ask if you are doing things correctly. i love that. we are not mind readers, we have to be allowed to learn. She makes you actually want to learn more. A trainee does not come to dread his training, he actually looks forward to it. And he looks for Her approval on his accomplishments because we are both in this together. She can not train me if i am not willing to learn, and in turn i can not learn unless i receive proper guidance.
So as a summation i am going to describe the personality and character of my Goddess with the words: Honesty, Sincerity, Determination.
Once i have passed my E-mail and video training i would humbly
desire to serve Her in person. my original intention when contacting
Goddess Lorena was to find a Deity to worship and to pray to.
The training that i receive does include this. But i never thought
that i would be Her 24/7 slave. Twice i have gone into the website
and look at the personal ad by Goddess Lorena asking for a personal
24/7 slave. i do fit many of the requirements in the ad. For example
i do not smoke, have no children, am single, do not use drugs,
i am not a gambler. But i do have problems so i don't think i
fit Her requirements 100%. But i feel i would apply to be the
24/7 slave of Goddess Lorena once i have visited Her and served
Her in person. i believe that in Her wisdom She would lay out
my problems one by one and then decide how to deal with them.
The video "The Training of a worshipper slave" was an extraordinary video which showed to me a well-trained slave in deep worship and appreciation of the Goddess who owns him. What i liked the most about this video was that it shows, to potential 24/7 slaves, an example of a goal to aim for. he is obviously so well-trained that the full power of Goddess Lorena's training is evident. The showing of this video to potential slaves gives them hope that there truly is an understanding Goddess who will patiently accept us as basic material and then train us and mold us to be a useful part of Her domain.
Goddess Lorena's worshipper slave:
i learned from watching this first scene the importance striving to maintain the standards of my Trainer and Owner. A strict adherence to the regimens which Goddess Lorena sets forth in Her training of worshippers will bring those who truly are interested in attaining slavery to the pinnacle. The scene made me feel envious of those who have done a period of training under the guidance of Goddess Lorena.
i feel that this scene, in its naked simplicity, is a tremendous reinforcement of the basic desires of a submissive when he enters a training program. he is taking on a duty and his adherence to the training, i feel, would lead me to the plateau which the presented slave has attained. The constant reference to the training materials represented by the videos and the CD Femaria show a beginner that there is real thought behind the training. It is not based on whim. There is a training program which will show a potential slave the 'whys' of what he is doing and 'why' he should be learning it. It demonstrates to the beginner just what being a slave is all about. The constant "thanking Goddess" by the slave shows me that this slave was trained especially well and he learned his lessons well.
Goddess Lorena's sissy slave:
What i learned from watching this second scene is that Goddess Lorena in, in Her wisdom, knows that, even in slavery, trainees can not all be trained to do the same thing. This slave was required to dress as a Woman because he was serving at a Ladies tea party. Ladies only. he was taught his job and was made to practice. Goddess Lorena deemed from his early training that this slave had the aptitude for this type of duty. i felt while watching the video a feeling of deja vu. In the past i have found forced feminization to be an incredible training tool. Being forced to serve others while in heels and a dress, with woman's underwear on strips a male of his manhood. It is a true understanding that you are enslaved and controlled fully. There are no chains on you, only clothing. A chain can be put on you by another person, but you have to get dressed yourself. If you are putting female attire on at the orders of your owner then you have taken a major step toward permanent slavery.
The fact that Goddess Lorena, Herself, actually made some of the clothing worn by the slave in this scene is an exceptional item to me. i believe it shows how She cares that all things are as She wants it in Her Queendom. She spotted this slave when he was a trainee and knew his potential as a serving maid. She made sure that he dresses for the part. Even to him wearing Her own worn underwear. Once again the slave's eagerness to please Goddess Lorena is so evident. He emphasizes that he has been taught to serve Goddess Lorena first and serves others only upon being given Her permission. The fact that this is a well-trained slave is made very clear. i am certain that other owners of male slaves would recognize superior training methods by viewing this scene.
Goddess Lorena's pet doggie:
This scene is actually a two-parter. The first part shows the slave in the role as a trained dog. The second part shows him talking about his doggie training, followed by a recapitulation of his gratitude to Goddess for training him and accepting his servitude. I believe i learned from this scene how sincere this particular slave is to his Goddess for his training. He shows a certificate which was given to him when he officially became a 'worshipper.' i do not know if this slave came into the training program with the submission he now exhibits, or if the training program has made him so. i should think that it is a little of both. The scene made me feel that i would like to become another successful example of the training of Goddess Lorena. The exhibited slave is a prime example of a successful and knowledgeable Trainer.
i like the mentions of the accouterments of this slave's training. The mention of the 'slave contract', the collar, the nipple jewelry, and the constant references to being 'owned' being 'property' and the giving up of rights as a male. It is like a drumbeat of a reminder that we are talking about real slavery. This is not a game. Enter this program only with the true conviction of your submission to a Superior Being.
trainee slave frank s.
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